Jokes

ladies things:

a man went to the doctor with broken teeth and bleeding,

Doctor : Hey!, how did it happened?

Man : Because I pressed one button in the aero-plane

Doctor : Oh!, come on explain me how it is?

Man : there was a board in-front of me which says "if you press the green button tea or coffee will come, and if you press the RED button air-hostess will come", so I pressed the red button.

Doctor : Did, air-hostess came you?

Man : Yes!, she came and I pressed her button!

from my blog : www.maruthivishnuvardhan.blogspot.com

phone talk

Teacher : Hey!, Mr.Gunda, why always you are talking in the class room with the girls?

Mr. Gunda : Madam, I don't have a Mobile phone, so I will talk here only  

I DONT KNOW TO SWIM
Mylari was walking on the bridge over the river.., unfortunately he fell in the river.., he did not to swim.., so he started crying...! loudly... by saying "I DONT KNOW HOW TO SWIM...!" "I DONT KNOW HOW TO SWIM"..., The another person Ranga came on same bridge and he heard Mylari's crying...,  "Hey what is your your problem?" he asked to Mylari. Mylari shouted " I dont know how to swim ", Ranga told him "There is no need of shouting.. for that, even I dont know how to play the piano, but did i ever cried like you? 


DIFFRENCE:
Shilpi kallannu kettidare adu kale, adee kallininda shilpiyannu kettidare adu kole


WHO INVENTED?
Right Brother's Invented the Aeroplane, before that many people tried to invent it, but failed do you know who are they...?


Answer: wrong brothers




JUDGE & THIEF
JUDGE: (to the thief) If your guilt is prooved, you have to face 2 punishments, 
1. Hanged to death. 2. you have to watch vishnuvardhan's "Nammejamanru" Movie twice.
so you can choose any one you like.


THIEF: oh! my God..!, please hang me.


GRAPE

Once An American man visited the indian fruit seller shop, this is the conversation between them.(american and indian shop keeper)

A:(by showing an apple to the shop keeper) What is this?

S: it is an apple.

A: is this the apple...? very small...!, in our nation one apple weighed about 15 kilo's and 8 people can share happily one apple among them.

S:???!!!  

A:(by showing an orrange to the shop keeper) What is this?

S: it is an orrange.

A: is this the orrange...? very small...!, in our nation one orrange weighed about 25 kilo's and needed 3 people to carry it.............

S:???!!!

A:(by showing an banana to the shop keeper) What is this?

S: it is a banana.

A: is this the banana...? very small...!, in our nation a banana.., is two meters long in hight.

S:(indian shopkeeper feels very bored with an american critics but answering all questions calmly...

A:(there was big stock of watermilan fruit infront of the shop, so american went near that and selected one big water mialn and showed it to the shopkeeper and asked) what is this? 

S: it is a GRAPE....!

A:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????????????